November 2, 2011Insight Into What It Takes to Save my Marriage
I came across your book "The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands" in the local library while looking for marriage help books.
My husband of 19 years chose to separate six weeks ago because he said I've made him feel worthless the past several years. I never realized how I treated him, and he never complained until this point. After he left, I've begun working on myself and how I see my husband. He is the best man I know and I don't want to lose him because of my own stupidity. I started reading your book and I see how poorly I've treated him on every page I read. I want to make changes within myself and how I act and react to him. I do not want a divorce because he is the love of my life.
I've had a history of abuse which happened in my teens. I am now 40, and I have never spoken about the extent of it to my husband. It is difficult for me to open up and trust him. I was afraid he wouldn't love me anymore. I told him the whole story about the abuse after we separated and I feel like a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. I've asked for forgiveness from God many times for things in my past, but I never forgave myself or others. Once I started to forgive myself, the healing has begun and I'm open to improving myself, my self-worth, and how I act toward my husband. I knew he loved me and I thought he would always be there for me, all the while, never giving a thought to what I could do for him to make him happier and our marriage better.
Reading your book has really opened my eyes to what I need to do to save my marriage. There is nothing I won't do. I know I can change because I really want to. I want to be a better person, not just for my husband and children, but for everyone who I come into contact with during the day. After reading your book I have a completely different outlook and insight into what it takes to make a marriage happy and healthy. Thank you so much for writing this book. I wish I knew this information when we were first married because I could've had the happiest marriage and husband in town. For now, all I can do is make my husband and our relationship my primary focus and hope he sees I can change, and gives me another chance to be a better wife. Thank you Dr. Laura!!!
Posted by Staff at 3:20 PM