An alpha male isn’t just a muscular badass. Granted, it’s nice when a man takes pride in his body and his ability to protect, defend and take care of business, but that in and of itself is totally insufficient. An alpha male is also not simply somebody who leads with aggression and fear. That’s an immature jerk with low self-esteem and a sensitive ego.

Here are some of the personality traits that I think constitute an alpha male:

1. An alpha male is courageous. There’s a difference between being fearless and being courageous. Nobody is fearless. We all have certain fears and insecurities. If you think somebody running into combat or a burning building doesn’t have fear, you’re nuts! However, an alpha male rises above his fear and does what needs to be done in spite of it.

2. An alpha male controls his emotions. When chaos strikes, he takes some deep breaths and evaluates what the next step is without lashing out, self-medicating with drugs or alcohol, or taking it out on others.

3. An alpha male has a purpose to his life. He never just floats around aimlessly. He has focus and drive.

4. An alpha male is not afraid to make decisions. A fear of making decisions is actually a fear of dealing with the consequences. An alpha male makes decisions and deals with the consequences.

5. An alpha male says what’s on his mind. He’s not a passive-aggressive limp dick or too overly sensitive to speak up for himself and others.

6. An alpha male does not become consumed by just one area of his life. He’s responsible about health, work, love, and friends, and maintains a lifestyle that has a good foundation and diversity.

7. An alpha male is not afraid to say no (or yes when everyone around him threatens him with no).  He takes a position, defends it, protects it, stands up for it, and doesn’t cave simply because somebody will be mad.  

8. An alpha male knows his weaknesses and his strengths. He doesn’t get crazy over the fact that he has weaknesses and doesn’t deny his mistakes. He tries to fix and repair them, not hide from them.

9. An alpha male looks you straight in the eye. He’s strong and confident, and it shows.