November 2, 2012From the Wife of a Veteran
You had a call from a veteran whose fiancé insisted he seek therapy because he cried when a movie scene provoked memories of a tragic event from his life in combat. He was very worried therapy would open wounds that are trying to heal. As the wife of a wonderful veteran who has some real struggles with PTSD, I was deeply saddened by this man's story. It sounds like his woman's attitude has some really destructive potential. His reaction to the movie was a HUMAN reaction, NOT an episode of PTSD. If she's behaving this way over something so reasonable, I doubt she will ever understand what he needs from her when he actually does struggle. She will likely eventually force him into therapy, blaming every bump in the road on "untreated" PTSD.
When my hubby tried therapy for his troubles, it destroyed him inside for some time, and nearly destroyed our marriage of ten years. He has troubles from time to time and some real challenges because of what he's faced. But I've learned that nothing can undo the experiences he's had; they changed him. He's learned that simply living is its own treatment, and the best option for him. I support him as lovingly as I can, sometimes with superhuman patience, thanks to God. His PTSD is a part of his life now. I try to handle the challenges as I would if it was some random disease that plagued him; he's my man and he needs his woman's love! He's a dedicated father and a good man. I can tell you though, that he'd probably fall apart without the loving support of those around him.
This dear soldier that called your show is best advised to seriously evaluate whether this woman will support him as he needs, or whether she will push him into something unspeakably painful and potentially destructive. Therapy isn't always necessary or beneficial. She had better tread lightly and not act like the expert on what her man needs. She should trust his judgment. He knows what is best for him. I wish him the best and I thank him and his family (as well as your son and your family) for all the sacrifices the serviceman's lifestyle requires. I know some of the dear prices paid.
Posted by Staff at 1:34 PM