Dear Dr. Laura,

One of the biggest ways I have seen parents mess up their kids is by saying one thing and never following through on it. The kids come away with the belief the world will keep giving them chance after chance after chance and will eventually reward them for non-compliance.

Closely tied to this is not using the word, "No", as in, "No, you can't have today's-heart's-desire."  The real world is going to tell them not just "No" but "HELL NO!" Kids need to know how to deal with NO!

I saved the best for last: Parents not letting their child fail. Children and adults need to fail on a somewhat regular basis. This is how we learn, grow and keep from getting too full of ourselves. The child who has never experienced real failure is not going to have a clue on how to pick themselves up, dust off, and try something new to solve the problem. Our work environment these days is one where you have to re-invent yourself many times over. Most attempts will not be successful. Those who will thrive and survive will have had the most experience overcoming failures.

You are a parent first and foremost. Your kids do not have to like you 100% of the time.

Warmest Regards,

Shelley