The worst thing in my case was loss of time and privacy, which I'd willingly given up throughout their childhood. I desperately want my husband and me to be able to live just as a couple again! This isn't a marriage that was sacrificed to the kids. We still have much in common and spend much time happily together.

My daughter moved back for a while, and she hated the idea she couldn't have her own place. She soon moved away. It's been really rough the last few years during the recession, but she has stayed on her own. She has had some absolutely amazing experiences, from living in the New Mexico desert, swimming in the Rio Grande, doing farm work, and learning that she is really good at political organizing.

Now she has saved enough to travel for about four months or so throughout Europe, an exciting adventure for her. I don't think she would have developed this amount of self-confidence had she just played it safe and lived with us.

She's coming back soon for a visit before leaving the country. I dread her being so far away, but now I trust her to survive, since she's proven that she can.

B.