September 12, 2011They Are All Wrong
Dear Dr. Laura,
Posted by Staff at 12:00 AM
My husband and I made the decision back in March to leave the city we live in, and move out into the country near our hometown. Meanwhile, I have cut down to part-time hours at my job (a "day orphanage") and have been taking care of the home and my wonderful husband who works so very, very hard for me to be able to do this.
The idea behind moving was to start a family of our own in a small town. My husband would be able to work from home and I would be able to raise my children. We were very excited about this transition and finally "starting" our life...until I was suddenly met with strong disapproval from just about everybody: my friends, my co-workers, and my family. I struggled for awhile as to why they would be so negative about such a wonderful start to our lives. I was very hurt and had second thoughts about everything. Women don't raise their kids anymore, why would I be able to think I can do it? I was even berated by my sister about not working and I thought for a moment "She's right. I don't work! How lazy is that?! You can't just NOT work!"
Dr. Laura, as I'm sitting in my house in the city with boxes all around me, 3 weeks away from leaving, I know they are all wrong. Waiting until I'm ready to have children has been the right thing to do. My husband and I have been working hard for the last 5 years to put ourselves in a position for me not to work - the right thing to do. As for moving away, I know the small town we are going to is the right place to raise my children. I would follow my husband to Timbuktu if it meant I would be able to raise my children the right way (by me!) and be able to take care of my husband and treat him the way such an amazing man deserves to be treated. I attribute all these wonderful things that are about to happen in my life to you, Dr. Laura. Five years ago I was selfish, I thought my husband only wanted to control me and keep me under his thumb. I treated him horribly and he should have left me then. Not anymore. And I thank you for reminding me everyday what I'm doing may not be "what people do" anymore. But it's what I'll do. Because it's the right thing. Thank you.