February 3, 2009
Cleaning Up My Dirty Sweaty, Hubby
Cleaning Up My Dirty Sweaty, Hubby

Hi, I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Welcome to the Dr. Laura YouTube channel, where you get to ask me some questions. This is a vivid question...I want you to picture it as I read it.

Dr. Laura, my husband is a good man but there is one issue that I am having trouble with. He loves to work outside; we have 32 acres of woods and yard. When he comes inside all sweaty and dirty, he will not take off his dirt filled shoes, nor his very stinky clothes. He proceeds to sit in his recliner and leaves the carpet full of debris from his dirty shoes. I am constantly vacuuming and spraying Febreze on his chair. (We got a little ad in there, I guess.) I have asked him, ever so kindly, to please at least take off his shoes, but I have gotten nowhere. He is very picky about how our yard looks and the exterior of our home, but when it comes to the interior - that's another story. What can I say to him (remember that...what can I say to him) that would help him realize that the dirty shoes and clothes are making a lot of extra work, not to mention the soiled and stinky recliner. Thank you.

Most of the time, I don't give advice on what to say, I give advice on what to do because doing is infinitely more powerful. Now you wonder why a grown man, intelligent, reasonable, decent, wonderful guy, terrific husband works 32 acres of backyard and then walks in with dirt about. And I always think, "Now what could the message be?" You see, because I think behavior is a message. I think he's probably walking in there, all dirty, because he wants you to notice him and how much work he's doing, and acknowledge it and give him "huzzahs" for it. Men like that! They like to be thanked for all their efforts. Now you're saying "he" likes working outside. So maybe you're thinking, "well, because 'he' likes it..." that he's not really doing something for you. Well, it's our property and this is one of the ways men take care of their women. They take care of the property. He sees "inside the house" as yours.

So my recommendation: I like the Febreze thing, but he comes in all dirty and sweaty. I think this is the time for you to say, "Honey, lets take a shower together and then we'll cuddle together on your recliner." I have a feeling you will have the cleanest husband west of the Pecos...if I only knew where the Pecos was. I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Thank you for visiting our YouTube channel. See you next time.

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Posted by Staff at 8:00 AM