January 23, 2018
Changing Your Outlook

Dear Dr. Laura:

I'm 26 years old and will celebrate my second wedding anniversary next month.  Since we didn't shack up prior to getting married, the first year of marriage was a bit of a trial in learning how to live with one another comfortably.  I'm a "clean freak," and my husband is not, so at first, I was the nagging wife who tried to pawn my desire for a clean and tidy home off onto my husband.  I kept asking him to clean up his dresser, which was overflowing with socks and clothes he wasn't wearing, but not surprisingly, my repetition of this demand didn't work.  So I gradually lessened the amount of time I brought it up, and essentially gave up on trying to make it happen.  

In our first year of marriage, I've learned it's important to look at the relationship as a whole, rather than at the small things that can overshadow all the good.  It's easy to focus on an overflowing dresser, but then I remember all the times he woke up early to heat up my car for me, drove to my parents' house in a snowstorm so my dad wouldn't have to shovel, or secretly put aside money for me to get the new purse I had my eye on.  Our relationship now is stronger than ever.  I'm reading "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" too, and it puts everything into perspective. 

The best thing?  Three days after I started implementing the suggestions in your book, my husband finally cleaned out his dresser!  Thank you for all that you do, especially for those of us in our early years of marriage!

Serena



Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM