April 22, 2015Not a Father, Just a Sperm Donor
Posted by Staff at 10:58 AM
I have been wanting to let you know what a great influence you have been on me.
My father and mother created three children. When they finally married, she was pregnant with me. When the kids were 6, 4, and 2, my father decided he liked my mom's best friend better, so he left us for her. He married the friend, then divorced her, and started coming around us again claiming in front of us children he wanted to reunite our family. At some point he abandoned us again and left the state.
My mother then saw him in the grocery store carrying a baby. He had returned to our area, remarried the friend, had a baby with her, and hadn't told anyone. He wanted to re-establish some sort of relationship with my sisters and me. That relationship turned out to be our watching him with his new family and getting to see all the things he provided for his new daughter that my sisters and I did not have.When I was 16, I'd had enough and never consented to see him again. He didn't bother to attempt to make contact.
This is where you come in. I once felt guilty for abandoning him, but you made me realize not only did I have a right to avoid this situation with his new family, but as the adult, it was HIS responsibility to maintain contact, which he never attempted to do. When my aunt discovered he had died, I searched for his obituary online. It stated he only had one child...hers. Because of you, I was not hurt. I actually found it amusing.
I'm now 58 years old and have a wonderful husband to whom I am completely devoted we have no children, just a very spoiled dog.
Thank you, Dr. Laura. Please know that you do make a difference by healing ancient hurts.
Love and kisses...