Hi Dr. Laura,

I have had a bad habit of falling for bad boys throughout my life. I have finally gotten over that and am married to a 'nice guy'. I married TWO bad boys and it took a huge toll on me emotionally and physically: abuse, betrayal and all the other nasty that come with dating bad boys. I dated the bad boys because I felt they were a challenge and exciting.  I had the same old clichés: I could 'win them over' and they would change for me.  It was also because I had low self-esteem. I felt in some way I deserved to be mistreated.  I remember reading in "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives" to "Get rid of him if"...

Once I got over the need to prove I could tame the bad boy (which you can't), I realized this need to be the one who would help them change came at a huge price to me.  If anything, being with these men erodes your self-esteem further; you get used to being treated badly and if you're not careful you can really lose yourself. I honestly do not know one single girl who has EVER been really happy or at peace with a bad boy. They may be fun for a while, but they are not people you need or want in your life. Healthy women do not want or need to be mistreated nor do they need to fill a void in their lives.  I make my own excitement now and I'm a lot happier!  Every time I see a bad boy, I just think "No thanks - stay away."  They no longer hold any appeal.

Thanks for all you do for people and women like me Dr. Laura.

Love,

Lisa