It’s the little things that keep a relationship beautiful, and it’s the little things that destroy it. Here are five behaviors that will kill even the best of relationships:

1. You don’t connect. You have jobs that take you in opposite directions. You pay more attention to your phones or computers than each other. You can’t feel connected if you aren’t connecting (laughing about silly things, holding hands, giving each other back rubs, etc.).

2. You’re constantly criticizing. If you care about somebody and want them to care about you, don’t whine and complain about everything they do.

3. You’re petty. Being passive-aggressive because “the other day you did such and such” is not a healthy way to deal with a problem.

4. You’re not considerate. You forget special days or make more time for your family and friends than your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse. A healthy relationship is about caring and giving, not absorbing. You need to ask what you can do for your relationship, not what your relationship can do for you. 

5. You attack each other instead of the problem. It should be “you and me” against the world, not “you and me” versus each other.