August 14, 2012 My Wife Favors Her Family Over Mine
Hi, Dr. Laura here answering your questions, and this one is from Bart:
I've been married for 15 years and we have five kids. I come from a family of eight children and my wife from a family of 10 children. Several months ago, my mother called and asked if we would start get-togethers for my siblings at our home and then assign months to other siblings. My wife said, "No, no one will come. I don't want to do it." So we didn't.
Last night, her mother called her and asked if we would be willing to do the same thing for her family. Now my wife thinks it's a good idea because her family wants to do it! I put my foot down and said, "No, I won't do it."
Am I being unreasonable? At times, she seems to favor her own family over me and mine.
You may not have understood what she said. She said no one will come. I think you missed the important part. You only got the "I don't want to do it." You seem to have missed the "No, no one will come." That's a little hint to me that she feels like your family maybe doesn't embrace her. That's the part you should be talking about.
Let me say this to you guy: if your wife is now willing to do all of the above, you don't have an argument about this, you go along with it. You haven't taken "how to be a husband" lessons yet?
Anyway, you need to go back to her and talk to her about how she feels your family is not as embracing of her as maybe she would like to feel more comfortable. You are missing the main point and you're just getting defensive and that gets a man a lot less sex...just a little hint.