August 14, 2014
Staying in a Bad Relationship


My divorce is now final.My ex-wife and I split time with our children. We live close enough to each other that they get to spend 2 weeks with me and then 2 weeks with their mom. Before I filed for divorce, I knew my marriage wouldn't last much longer. You see, my ex-wife had been having multiple affairs and, even after confessing to me and promising to change, if I made some changes too, she was having another affair. This time she didn't bother to hide it. She was almost flaunting it. My friends and family couldn't believe I was still trying to make a go of it, but with 4 children, I had to do what I could to try and keep their family intact.

I was not a perfect husband before my ex had an affair, and heaven knows that, while I was much better, I wasn't during the last 16 months before I filed for divorce. You see, I had pulled back from my wife, partially because I didn't feel supported, loved, desired, or even wanted and partially because I didn't feel worthy of all those things because her actions told me I wasn't.

My wife always had an excuse to avoid sex or much of any loving contact at all. All the typical reasons. When she did finally "give in", it was obviously out of obligation she wanted it "over with" as soon as possible. I was lucky to be "thrown a bone", as it were, 1-2 times a month. By this time, we were obviously in trouble. I held on to this failing marriage for my children. I was willing to bear the burden of a "marriage in name only" but only as long as we were both in it for the children. She wanted to keep the family together and to have her boyfriends on the side and that was an unacceptable lesson for my kids. The final straw was when she introduce our children to her boyfriend. I had to do something.

I still have to put out fires. Just tonight my daughters were both crying because they wanted their mom, and they want to be with me. It is heartbreaking to see them struggle with having 2 families, 2 homes, 2 lives. Ladies and gentlemen, moms and dads, husbands and wives, DON'T DO THIS TO YOUR CHILDREN. They deserve a complete, loving home. Learn from my mistakes. Choose wisely-treat kindly.

Josh

Posted by Staff at 10:59 AM