Hi, Dr. Laura here and welcome to our YouTube channel, where I get to answer questions like this one from Trisha:
"When I was growing up, my mom drank every night, cursed a lot, blamed me and the world for her problems [well that's what drunks do], and picked at me about things I was ashamed of.
Fast-forward to now: she doesn't drink, but she still feels the same [let me just take a second out to say because someone is not drinking alcohol does not mean their personality has improved or they have matured]. She talks about people making fun of her. She believes I participate in making her life miserable. I have my own life to live and problems to deal with.
My mom is a troublemaker and I feel that when she dies, I will finally be free. I love her and I don't mind looking after her because she is my parent, but she adds a lot of stress to my life. I'm scared I might take the anger out on someone that I care about, even though I don't have any kids yet. I have anger issues because of the way I was treated, and I can't help that I feel this way. What can I do?"
I wrote a book called Bad Childhood - Good Life which is in paperback, so it's very inexpensive. You ought to read that because this is just the sort of issue that I talk about in there. I appreciate that you call her a parent and not a mom; she's not a mom, and it sounds to me like she has some psychiatric issues that probably need attention, and in terms of your anger, it sounds like you have tried to turn some of it into compassion by taking care of her but you are wearing thin with the constant abuse.
At some point, you might have to decide that you're not going to participate in the caretaking and that you are going to get on with your life. But please read Bad Childhood - Good Life and then call my show, 1-800-DR-LAURA. And after you read the book, let's talk about how much further along in your transition you are.