February 14, 2011I Was Headed for a Disastrous Future
Hi Dr. Laura,
Let me start of by saying how much I appreciate what you do!!! You have opened my eyes and heart to a new beginning. I'm 18 and I'm married to a wonderful man in the military. My mother gave me your book after she read it and I absolutely love it. I cried, laughed, and beat myself up (in a healthy way of course!!) throughout the book.
My past with my family always made me struggle through my life. I grew up without a father, but with a wonderful mother who gave everything she possibly could for me and my brother. Although, of course being a stupid ignorant teenager, I treated her as if it was all her FAULT. I grew up "unhappy" but the truth was, I was just thinking about me!!
When I was 17, I met my now husband. Oh how I never thought I could possibly love someone so much. I lived my days thinking about him, trying to make him happy with absolutely everything, and just making him my entire world... I wish I could say when we got married I followed through with these actions. After I became pregnant, I constantly only thought about myself. My husband was in a serious training school for his career, and yet when he'd come home I'd nag, nag, nag, nag and NAG!! When he'd walk through the door, I had my bitchy face on... and would start with "MY day was horribly, I HATE today, I want you to make me food, no I don't want to go anywhere." I was flat out, a bitch. I'd constantly ask him "Do you love me? Do you actually? Do you want someone else but me? Am I fat? Do you not want to have sex with me anymore? Do you even care that I do EVERYTHING around here?" I now look back, and am SO SURPRISED he withheld his anger and distraught and didn't slap me! ha ha. After having our daughter, my excuse for everything was, "Well my postpartum hormones are crazy.. Deal with it. I HAD TO BE PREGNANT AND MISERABLE. YOU JUST SAT THERE." bitch... bitch? bitch. Nag. Nag. Nag. I never welcomed him home with love, I always would tell him I need a break from my long day and to do something for me... I never once thought about the 12 hour days he spent Monday-Friday working his butt off for our family..
After reading your book, I felt so stupid. I would hold so many grudges against him for past things he went through (like relationships). The sad part is this was 3 YEARS before he even met me. Yet, I've been a horrible wife and I sit there and say POOR ME, I NEVER HAD A DAD, I NEVER HAD THE LOVE OF MY MOM (which I did, I just never bothered to appreciate her.. till now). I'm so embarrassed with how I acted!! But with the help of your "knock some sense into us dummies" I'm the loving wife he wants to come home to. I greet him with love again. I go out on a whim everyday to make this house a home as best I can, think about what I can do today to make him happy. And guess what? I'm happier than ever, and he in turn shows me the appreciation and love that I so YEARNED for. The best thing is, it's the real kind of love, not the "I'm telling you this because you're nagging me and I need to say all the right things because then you'll chew my head off" Thank you so much. Without your honesty to us women, I'd be headed for a disastrous future... a lonely one at that.
Posted by Staff at 9:55 PM