April 11, 2012My Friends Aren't Choosing Wisely in Husbands
Dr. Laura Schlessinger here and welcome to our YouTube channel, where I get to answer your questions without you nagging back at me [Laughs and smiles]. Susie writes:
"I am 27 years old; many friends are getting married. Sometimes I feel impatient about this because some of my friends are marrying guys who clearly are not right for them, and I want to know when I'll meet the right guy. I was engaged about two years ago, but I broke it off because my ex-fiancé's relationship with his family was creepy, and his mother seemed to control him. [(Oh, you were smart to avoid that!]) I do date a decent amount. How do I deal with my impatience that I have not met the right guy yet? And how do I try to feel more positive about my friends' clearly stupid choices in mates?"
Well I don't want you to be positive about your friends' stupid choices in mates because if you're going to be a friend, you've got to be the one to say, "You know what? I'm feeling impatient, I have a sense you're feeling impatient and you're jumping into the wrong pond because of your impatience and these are the things that are going to make you miserable in 3, 4, 5, 6 years. And meanwhile you'll have 4 kids and then you'll be calling Dr. Laura going, 'I don't know. I don't think I saw these things beforehand.'" Yes you did.
There's not much you can do about your friends except not to copy them. And if I were 27 and looking to get married, I'd be talking to respectful, responsible, older friends of mine and family, lawyer types, physician types, whoever...you know, professional people who know other people to do an introduction. A lot of people are negative about arranged marriages but what happens is you get two families who really do get along and know their offspring, and know the qualities they need to have toward them and that they have to give and go about bringing them together.
So there's something to be said for you asking people who know you and the gentleman, to bring you together. Some of the background is already done for you. Anyway, stand up at your friends' weddings and when they say, "Does anybody here have any reason these two should not be brought together?" [Raises her hand] "Yeah! Yeah, I do!" I mean you won't have many of these friends left but at least you'll be doing the proper thing for them.
I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger. Until next time, here on YouTube, go do the right thing.
Posted by Staff at 9:21 AM
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