Why Men Leave a Marriage
July 18, 2013
Why Men Leave a Marriage

Dr. Laura,

I wish to give you some of my perspective and much of the perspective of the men with whom I work. These include engineers, managers, superintendents and other professionals found in a major engineering-construction firm.

The males of the species ALL hope the spouse NEVER changes. Unfortunately they always do and as seen by the male, usually not for the better. The young female is for the vast majority: loving, caring, accommodating, enthusiastically partaking of his activities, gentle of voice and comments, and generally sexually very active.

It is true that as time goes on all things change at least somewhat. The key word is somewhat. That is as it is meant to be. It is when major changes occur that the problems start. This is especially true if the changes are on key issues.

Loving and caring go together as one. Initially the girl will want to sit beside her man, want to caress his head when chatting and will smile even when important or controversial issues are discussed. They can weigh the factors and come to an agreement. Twenty years later, it is no longer a discussion. She will stand ten feet from him and in a voice akin to a grizzly, state her case and demands.  Disagreements are challenged with a raise voice and a fearsome scowl. She will dictate where they go and what he is to do when not at work.

There is little if any accommodation of things that he would like to do. Often he is forced to change his hobbies because she does not like them. "I don't want you woodworking because that's dusty!" "You cannot restore that car because you get smelly and dirty!" "You cannot go hunting because I now refuse to eat that garbage!" Forget about being interested how and what he does in his non-business activities; much less partaking in his activities. I am an accomplished landscape/scenic and wildlife photographer. My wife has seen less than two percent of my photos. She just is not interested. I so terribly miss sharing this with her.

There are many jokes about the wife at least raising her voice, if not outright screaming at the husband. Sadly, there is more truth in this than joke. The excuse the wife uses, (and nearly every man that I associate with claims that his wife has the exact same excuse), is, "You do that to me, so I do it to you!" Forgiveness? Forget it. If the man messes up on something, it will be reminded to him 10 - 12 years later as if it happened just an hour ago. In addition, it will be reminded in a most cruel manner.

In her twenties, the girl will want sexual activity nearly every night. By forty, he is lucky if it is once in four weeks and by fifty, he is lucky if it is four times a year.

Do you see why the man does not want his wife to change?

On the other hand, the woman seems to want to change nearly everything about her man. That however is another subject.

This is why men look for a younger woman after 30 years of marriage.


Posted by Staff at 11:29 AM