May 7, 2010
Smarter Family Management
Smarter Family Management ByKathy Peel www.familymanager.com Being the Family Manager means there#146;s always more than plenty to do#151;and the job starts over every morning. If we don#146;t find ways to handle day-to-day tasks so that everyone, Mom included , is cheerful, relaxed, and organized, we#146;ll struggle just to endure life and never get to enjoy it. How we carry out each twenty-four-hour day can make a difference between a household in constant uproar and one that hums along smoothly. And, there is more at stake than just lost car keys on Monday morning or a missed school play due to unexpected calendar conflicts. Home is where our kids learn how to #147;do#148; life. Consequently, we need smooth-running homes both for sanity#146;s sake and for our kids#146; future success. Every fall year when school starts, moms across the country deal with many of the same issues. Here are common complaints I hear, and solutions that can work for every family. We never have enough time in the morning. Figure out what time everyone has to be out the door and work backwards from there. How long does it typically take each person to get ready? Set a wake-up time that gives each child enough time to wash, dress, eat, do chores, and get out the door#151;then add ten minutes for schedule snags so they won#146;t miss the bus or carpool. Put a clock in every room so everyone is always aware of what time it is. Have one person be in charge of giving family members a ten-minute warning#151;ten minutes before it#146;s time to walk out the door. Every morning there#146;s a tense line at the bathroom door. Design a rotating schedule for the bathroom and assign each child a time. Put a timer in the bathroom so they#146;ll know when their time is up. (Have teenagers get up fifteen minutes earlier than younger siblings since they need more time in the bathroom. Put a makeup mirror in girls#146; bedrooms to free up time for others.) The kids change clothes a lot and we argue over what they want to wear. Ask kids to decide and set clothes out the night before. (Pack away all clothing that doesn't fit and put away out-of-season items to simplify choices.) For children who like to decide in the morning, make decisions easier by hanging all their school clothes in one area of the closet, and build your kids#146; wardrobe on basic color bottoms that will coordinate with a wide variety of tops. Also: Buy socks all of one kind and color for each child. This saves searching for mates. Buy #147;fast#148; clothes#151;shoes with Velcro fasteners, tagless T-shirts, and shirts with ample openings for easy slipping over the head#151;for young children. Buttons, snaps, zippers, and shoelaces slow them down. The kids often forget things, and I have to make extra trips to school. When homework is done the night before, it goes in the backpack and the backpack goes on a hook by the door, along with shoes, rain gear, and gym clothes. Breakfast (if we eat at all) is always fast and furious. Set the table and make as many preparations as you can the night before. Offer a very limited menu of easy-to-prepare but healthy foods. Divide preparation and cleanup chores between family members. Sit down at the table together, even if it#146;s only for four or five minutes, and talk about your children#146;s day. Ask about tests, activities, and if there#146;s anything you need to pick up for them at the store. This is an easy way to show them you care about what#146;s going on their world. Making the day#146;s lunches in the morning just adds to breakfast chaos. Fix tomorrow#146;s sack lunches while you#146;re cleaning up after dinner. The kids come home loaded with papers and information. It#146;s hard to keep up with all the practices, games, and meetings at school. Create a Control Central (a home base of operation) where you can organize and administrate the countless daily details#151;schedules, appointments, invitations, school papers#151;and oversee your family#146;s coming and goings. Kitchen is ideal location. You need a central family calendar, small dry erase board for messages, bulletin board, and an inbox for each child. When kids get home from school, have them unload backpacks right away and put important papers in their in-boxes. Mom or dad go through kids#146; inboxes at night. It#146;s also a good idea to have a 3-ring binder and hole-punch at Control Central to store things like team and homeroom phone lists, class/homework rules, sick day policies, field trip guidelines, etc. I end up doing all the work. I want my husband and kids to be more helpful. Create a morning chore chart kids can follow. Post it at child level on the refrigerator. Have each child check off tasks as he completes them. Have a rule at your house that kids do not get their privileges#151;watching TV, playing computer games, talking on the phone#151;until they fulfill their responsibilities. Stand firm. Carve out some time to talk with your spouse about who does what around the house. Many times men don#146;t know specifically what needs to be done or how to be helpful. Print off a Who#146;s Responsible for What list at familymanager.com to jumpstart the conversation. I#146;m tired of nagging. I would like my kids up to get up and get ready in the morning without yelling. Create a no-play-until-ready rule. Inspire a child by providing a special toy or game to be played with only when he is ready a few minutes early. Create a #147;Sunshine Jar#148; for young children who drag in the morning. Put some change in the jar each day they make progress sticking to the family schedule. Give them the money to spend on a treat the end of the week. Make sure kids get plenty of sleep. Keep to a reasonable schedule for bed preparations and sleep. Don#146;t alter kids#146; schedules much on weekends; they learn a daily rhythm and struggle when it#146;s upset. Set a specific time for younger children to bathe, brush their teeth, and go to bed, so they#146;ll have a sense of daily rhythm. Although they may stay up later n the weekends, don#146;t alter the schedule greatly if you want the school-day routine to be easy to maintain. Enforce a #147;lights out#148; time by installing a timer on kids#146; lights. Let them read or listen to audiobooks until the light goes out. Kathy Peel#146;s latestbook is The Family Manager Saves the Day (Perigee, 2004). To contact Kathy,visit familymanager.com . Permission granted for use on www.DrLaura.com.

Posted by Staff at 2:01 AM