September 10, 2010Four Signs You are Risking Your Marriage
By Anna Karimo
There is a magical time in each relationship that lasts for 3 months to 2 years. This is called New Relationship Energy (NRE) and is more commonly known as falling in love. Often, the NRE stage will make people not care about each other's flaws, and the two people will be so in love that they will do anything for the other person. They think they are a perfect match. The NRE will make everything in the relationship seem wonderful.
Then, reality sets in.
Most couples will start to take each other for granted after this time. This is the biggest mistake you can make in a relationship, and it is responsible for the failure of many relationships and marriages.
Here are some signs that you're taking your partner for granted:
1. You don't spend time together anymore
You feel like you don't have the energy that used to hold you together. Both spouses start doing more things outside of the relationship, and they can become so busy that they don't have time for each other anymore. When you don't spend time together, you're taking your relationship for granted. This is especially true if you're doing lots of new, exciting things outside of the relationship.
Tip: Set aside time for your spouse first, then book other activities or people second. Make your spouse a priority because you could lose your bond if you don't spend time with him or her. Come up with new, exciting things to do together.
2. You don't keep your spouse up-to-date on your life
Usually this starts when one of the spouses is too critical of the other. The other spouse then stops telling the critical spouse what is going on in his or her life for fear of being judged.
Tip: Don't be critical of your spouse. Your spouse is the person you fell in love with. If you're the spouse who stopped being open, you need to stop being afraid to voice your needs to your spouse. Tell him or her that you don't want to be judged.
3. You let your image go
When you were in love, you wanted to impress your spouse and would always look your best. When the NRE is over, most people make the mistake of letting their image go downhill. If you let your image go, your spouse will think that you only dress nicely for other people. Your spouse wants to feel that you'll dress up for him or her.
Tip: Get rid of that ugly, comfy outfit that you like to wear at home! Have something that's comfortable but still attractive. Dress for yourself, and you won't have a problem.
4. You stop creating intimacy
After the NRE is over, both spouses aren't having as much sex. Most couples take the relationship for granted and start to naturally drift away from each other. Sex is one of the most important parts of a healthy relationship.
Tip: Any positive changes in appearance will be helpful, and creativity and small gifts will bring more romance to the relationship. Give each other massages and make little romantic gestures. Sometimes, you have so much to do that you think you're too tired to have sex, but I can guarantee you will feel less stressed and tired once you start.
is the founder and CEO of Nouveau Dating. Anna formerly ran the largest dating service in Colorado, and she noticed that many of her clients did not know how to date effectively. She collected and read over 6,000 comment cards about the dates her clients went on to deepen her understanding about dating and relationships. Anna now dedicates her time to creating dating
courses and packages
based on her observations from the dating service. To find out more, visit
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