July 27, 2010
Tip of the Week: December 1st, 2008


Soar Above theClouds
By Emily Sue Harvey
www.renewalstories.com

Renewal has never been portrayed to me quite as vividly as during myfirst flying experience aboard a 747 jet. The delayed flight, due torain, plunged my spirits. Finally, the engines roared to life and Ifelt myself raised up, up until we lifted from earth. Outside thewindows, the clouds swallowing me were gray and angry, painting myemotions desolate.

Then, a remarkable thing happened. Suddenly, we burst free of the darkclouds, into glorious sunshine and a sky so blue and clear I could seeto infinity. Joy! I've never before nor since experienced such amystical example of rising above darkness.

We've all experienced encountering dark and rough places through whichwe must struggle. Such experiences have stirred me to reach out toothers and simply say, Hang in there! Above those dark clouds, the sunis shining!
Here are five tips for breaking through clouds:

1. Trust: Understand that you have little to no control overcircumstances. This "aha" often finds us on the short end of the stick.We cannot help that. What we can help is the way we perceive ourselvesas we journey through dark clouds. Trust in your ability and strengthto persevere. Buried in grief years ago, I remember distinctly stoppingdead in my tracks one day and saying to myself, "self-pity will killme." And I knew in my heart of hearts that was true. From that momenton I refused to be a victim. No "poor me" passed my lips. It was thebeginning of renewal.
   
   
2. Stay Busy: Nothing can restore one's emotional andspiritual balance like staying active. The mind can only fully focus onone thing at a time. Whether your pain is from grief, heartbreak,depression or myriad other sources, forcing your focus on positivethings will aid in a smoother healing. During grief, I sang in thecollege choral group. As a scholarship section leader, I led ensemblesfor the upcoming Spring Concert. Nothing is more difficult than singingwhen one's heart is breaking but the group patiently coaxed me along,overlooking my tears, validating me with how "needed" I was, until,weeks later, I sang from Sound of Music as joyfully as the rest.Staying busy was cathartic in my healing, moving on process.
   
   
3. Be Flexible: The journey through dark clouds is alwaysdifficult. Just when you think you're about to top them, setbacks canoccur. These are the times you must chill out and ride it out until youreach another plateau of recovery. A friend of mine has a daughter,whom I'll call Laurie, who is going through drug rehab via a MethadoneClinic. Laurie wants desperately to wean off the methadone and get onwith her life. She must constantly readjust dosages, due to withdrawalcrises. But she's growing stronger by the day by exercisingflexibility.
   
   
4. Exercise Your Inner Strength: We must increase our senseof power by exercising it. Sure, it's tough sometimes, especially whenwe're at our lowest ebb. During my period of loss, I yanked myself upby the boot straps by reflecting how my departed adolescent daughterhad perceived Mama as Superwoman, who'd always made things right andwho could conquer anything.
   
   It was on that note that I put one foot in front of the other and kepton keeping on during that difficult time. "Oh, you're so brave," folkstold me. And I thought, "You just don't know what I'm feeling inside."But later looking back, I saw how important that interval was in myjourney to renewal and healing. It was the walk - the exercise - thatbuilt up my spirit and mind to where I was able to walk through thedarkness with unprecedented strength.
   
   
5. Gather Role Models: Role models forge us a path andinspire us to follow. They bring us to a clearer understanding ofthe who we are and what we're meant to be. My best friend had adifficult childhood. Abandoned by her parents during adolescence, shewas reared by her grandmother, a stalwart woman who taught her goodcommon sense. Charlene ignored poverty and went on to become who shewas meant to be. She picked role models from those amongst her withadmirable attributes. Teachers and church folks she loved and wished toemulate. She chose her Home Economics teacher's posture and carriage,practicing it until perfected.
   
   From others she gathered nuggets of diction, health habits, wisdom, andacademic excellence. An honor student, she dressed impeccably allthrough high school, sewing her own clothing from scraps of leftovermaterial from clients she sewed for. I didn't know until later of herdire circumstances. After all, she'd always had a big old smile, washomecoming queen with a reaching out personality that drew folks likebutterflies to flowers.
   
   Now, she's one of the most beautiful and strongest women I know.Charlene was wise enough to know the value of following exemplary rolemodels. So do I. Especially the ones who have weathered life'sthunderstorms and rise above those dark clouds into sunshine and clearskies. It lets me know that if they can soar above the clouds, so canI!

Emily Sue Harvey writes to makea difference. Her upbeat stories have appeared in dozens ofanthologies including Chicken Soup for the Soul, Chocolate for Women,From Eulogy to Joy, A Father's Embrace, True Story, CompassionateFriends Magazine, and Woman's World. Emily Sue served as president ofSoutheastern Writers Association in 2008-2009. PeterMiller's NY Literary and Film Agency represent Emily Sue. Her firstnovel, Song of Renewal, published by Story Plant, will be released inthe spring of 2009. For more information visit www.renewalstories.com.Permission granted for useon DrLaura.com.



Posted by Staff at 7:22 PM