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I got this email from a listener after she heard a call I took on my radio program.' She titled the email 'To The Mother Whose Son Is Smoking Marijuana.' It speaks for itself: Today you gave advice to a mother who found out her 16 ' year old son is smoking marijuana.' You advised her to get him into a residential treatment program.'' You stated that drug addicts lie, and she responded that she didn't 'see' him as a drug addict.' I am afraid she will not take your advice, and she may be in my situation in the future. Today, I write this with a broken heart.' 11 years ago, when my son was 17, I, too, found out that he was smoking marijuana.' He was on the academic honor roll and participated in sports ' he wasn't a drug addict!' I tried to get him into a residential program, but was told they would not accept him at his age unless he committed himself.' I took him to a counselor that the high school recommended and had him assigned a probation officer until he was 18.' I thought just like her that he was not a drug addict in my mind.' He grew up to be a responsible young man who owned his own business, but he continued to smoke marijuana. Six months ago, I received that phone call that no parent wants to receive.' My son was dead at the age of 28 from an accidental drug overdose (oxycodone), which the coroner told me is the most abused drug today.' I do not know if this was the first time or the hundredth time he used the drug, but I vowed that if I can save one child or one parent from experiencing what I am going through that I would share my story. Dr. Laura, you were correct.' She needs to deal with the issue NOW, while she still has some control.' My son was not a 'drug addict' either.' The coroner called it 'recreational drug use.'' Children need to know that tennis, hockey, and soccer are recreations, not drugs.' I hope that mother heeds your advice so that her son does not end up where mine is today, guilt-ridden and questioning 'should I have done more?' More >>

Busy, busy mothers tuned in to their cellphones, BlackBerrys, iPods, iPhones, and chatty girlfriends, just don't have the time to tune in to their children ' that's just reality!' And you can't expect nannies (equipped with the same electronics) or day care workers with scads of kids to supervise or babysitters with other things to do to spend time tuning into your children either.' That's just reality.Why is this an issue?' Well, children just don't develop their language, communication skills, sensitivity to eye contact and facial expressions without input, stimulation and attention.' This fact will surely dismay parents and liberal educators who say kids just need a few minutes of quality time a day, and they'll be just fine.According to Randi Jacoby, a speech and language specialist in New York, who was quoted in the New York Times:' 'Parents have stopped having good communications with their young children, causing them to lose out on the eye contact, facial expression and overall feedback that is essential for early communication development.' That means that, instead of you parents going off to work when you have babies or small children, and then handing them over to institutionalized care or the care of someone hired to watch them all day and report back to you about 'food in and waste out,' you need to be home with your children, doing things like: Recognizing that communication begins as soon as the baby is born.' The way you touch, hold, look at and talk to your baby helps him or her learn language.' Even though your child doesn't necessarily understand what you're saying, your calm, reassuring voice is what he or she needs to feel safe.' You cannot spoil babies with attention and responsiveness to their cries. Talking all the time while you are doing things.' Talk about where you are going, what you will do when you get there, and who/what you'll see.' Talk about cleaning up the dishes, preparing meals, putting on makeup ' everything ' all of this is attention. Putting down the cellphone or other electronic device to look your child in the eyes as he or she tries to communicate or when you are engaging him.' Responding to a child's communicative attempts with complete attention is a sign of interest and love, and it teaches communication.' It might even help you with your spouse! Engaging your child in conversation, once he or she starts talking.' Expand what they are saying to help them learn to do the same.' For example, when your child says 'Doggie,' respond with 'Yes, that is a big black dog.'' Ask questions, play games, sing songs, recite nursery rhymes, and read books. Parenting is not about making sure your child lives through the day.' It's about an'investment of time, and loving energy to help them develop the skills they will need to function well in life.' Nannies, day care workers and babysitters just don't fill the bill.' Nobody trumps a loving mom and dad. More >>

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"Stupid is as stupid does." Those are sage words from the fictional Forrest Gump.And stupid does some interesting things in America.' Here are two great recent examples of stupidity:Before I tell you the first story, I want to preface it with a memory from my middle school years.' We Long Island neighborhood children took the bus to school.' I walked two blocks to the bus stop.' In the winter, it was freezing, but fortunately, one of the kids I went to school with lived in that corner house right where the bus picked us up.' The mom would leave the garage door open (the cars were already gone) so we could all huddle out of the wind and chill until the bus came.' It was very kind of her.Now, to today's story:' A mom in Michigan allows the kids from three families to hang out before school at her house for about 1 hour before the school bus comes.' She's not getting paid, although I sure hope she's getting appreciation from the families who have to go to work before they can get their kids off to school.'Believe it or not, she receives a letter from the Michigan Department of Human Services warning her that if she continues, she'd be violating a law aimed at the operation of unlicensed day-care centers.' She's not getting paid!!' And she's doing the neighbors a favor!!This law says no one may care for unrelated children in their home for more than four weeks each calendar year unless they are licensed day-care providers.' The Department of Human Services warned her without even finding out the facts.' This is stupid.' Never mind that these kids, if left by themselves for an hour without adult supervision could be food for predators.' It seems also that this stupid stretch would preclude regular baby-sitting when parents go out to dinner and the movies.There is good news here, though.' After the news media got hold of this story (and embarrassed the heck out of the state of Michigan), Governor Jennifer Granholm instructed the agency's director to work with the state legislature to change the law.'Since when is simply being a good neighbor a criminal activity?' Some neighbor (and we've all had this kind of neighbor) made a complaint, and started this non-common sense ball rolling.The second stupid story is from Saratoga Springs.' Adam Marino, a 12 year old in seventh grade, and his mother are defying Saratoga Springs school policy by biking to Maple Avenue Middle School.' The school has a rule that kids can't walk or ride a bike to school.' Adam's mom and other parents want their kids to be less sedentary and to get exercise by walking or riding to school as a fitness activity.'After Adam's mom thought she had an understanding with the school board on this issue, she rode a bike with her kid to school, only to be met by a state trooper and school administrators.' You'd think she had been beating her kid or helping him play hooky.' Sheesh!In reaction to this, other parents joined them in riding and walking their kids to school.' Once again, this got the attention of the news media, and the Board of Education is going to vote to amend this policy this week.These arbitrary rules are just stupid, and frankly, ignoring the bigger picture of neighborhood safety and exercise for children.' Fortunately, however, thanks to the media spotlight, it's all going to change. More >>

People are being murdered every day in the United States.' However, some of these murders capture the public's attention more than others.' Hugely fascinating and frightening has been the recent murder of the female Yale University graduate student, whose body was found stuffed into a wall in the Yale University biology lab on the day she was to be married.' Perhaps it was the imminent nuptials which made people more sympathetic, or perhaps it was that one is ultimately not safe anywhere that made people respond so viscerally to this particular news story.A 10 year old girl called me shortly after that story broke out, because she was now quite scared about everything.' Her fear only started, however, when she was in a movie theater bathroom stall and a woman came in, screaming and pounding on the doors, ostensibly looking for some other child.' Since that incident, my young caller had been scared.' Her mother was listening in when I validated this child's feelings by saying "You are perfectly correct in being scared.' It is true that there are bad people who are willing to hurt you and that you are sometimes not even safe in your own home." Paradoxically, that calmed her down!' Why?' Perhaps it seems to you that that comment would make her more upset.' Nope.' I validated her worst fears, and in doing so, helped her to put them in proper proportion.' If everyone is lying to you because of good intentions, you have to escalate to get them to confirm reality.' This child did not have to bounce off walls anymore.' Someone believed her that life is not completely safe.I continued by reminding her that she was becoming an adult.' Adults deal with truth, and the truth is that we are not always safe.' Adults need to be aware of that and, instead of just being freaked out about it,, they need to prepare for it:' locking the doors, watching who is near your car in a parking lot, learning some self-defense, being careful about where you go with people you don't know, and on and on.Evil is a part of life; danger is a part of life.' People need to know and respect that fact and be armed with information and reasonable plans to deal with these facts.'A little bit of paranoia is a good thing.' It keeps you prepared. Too much paranoia inhibits one from living life at all.'Don't hide the fact of evil and danger from your children.' Teach them how to recognize them and then what to do. More >>

I think it's outrageous that a married couple is suing WalMart for calling the cops over what they called "bath time photos."A year ago in Peoria, Arizona, mommy and daddy sent 144 family photos to be developed to WalMart.' The developer spotted eight photos of children in provocative positions, with their genitals exposed.' Apparently, the parents say that they "have told our girls that they have freedom to be in their home and feel okay about their bodies and their nudity, but that there is a time and a place for it." I couldn't agree more....and a store photo development establishment is probably NOT the place for it.' You know how cheap it is to download your own photos?' Sheesh!Obviously, these folks are big into nudity and the carefree expression of such, so their getting angry that the police and child protective services were brought in to investigate should have been an expected consequence of their beliefs. It is the intent of a civilized society to protect the old, infirm, and the young from exploitation and abuse.' The police and child protective services and the WalMart photo developer did the right thing.After psychiatric exams and a full investigation, it was determined by a judge that these parents didn't intend any abuse, nor were they revving up for child porn.' Fine.' Happy ending.But they should have been sensitive and non-defensive enough to understand the idea of protecting children always comes first . More >>

Y'know, I really don't know why I am so upset about Roman Polanski.' I mean, he's the director of such notable films as Rosemary's Baby, Chinatown , and The Pianist .' When one is a "respected" artist, shouldn't we allow for certain...shall we say..."proclivities" that maybe aren't what the average schmo should get away with?' After all...he's a movie director!What's the big deal about telling a very pretty little 13 year old girl that he could make her a star - i.e., a model for the French Edition of Vogue magazine?' How narrow-minded can you be to imagine that taking pictures of the naked 13 year old girl in a hot tub, plying her with glass after glass of champagne and popping her a few Quaaludes (ostensibly, he said, to cure her asthma), and then showing her what a real man can do without Viagra is a problem?' And what's wrong with the fact that he cautioned her to never tell her mother about their "little secret?"' It just makes the whole scenario more...intimate.Go figure...the Los Angeles District Attorney's office filed charges against Roman Polanski for this "innocuous" behavior - gee, it must have been a slow legal day.' After pleading guilty to having sex with a 13 year old child, working out a plea bargain, and then paying off the girl's family, Roman Polanski fled the United States in 1977.' The American authorities (just stubborn, I guess) issued an international search request in 2005.' Swiss authorities arrested him Saturday at the Zurich airport.How terribly inconvenient for the film world.' Polanski had traveled to Switzerland to collect a Lifetime Achievement Award at the Zurich Film Festival, and by going to Switzerland, he finally got arrested for his "lifetime guilt."' Actress Debra Winger, President of the film festival's jury, was terribly upset, poor thing: "The festival has been unfairly exploited to secure Polanski's arrest over a case that is all but dead.' Despite the philistine nature of the collusion that has now occurred, we came to honor Roman Polanski as a great artist.' We hope today this latest order will be dropped; it is based on a three decade old case that is all but dead except for a minor technicality." There are so many people around the world who were equally as astonished as I was that such an important film director should be treated so disrespectfully.' Jack Lang, a former French culture minister said, "While Mr. Polanski had committed a 'grave crime,' he is a great creator and artist, and there's a sentiment here that pursuing someone for a crime committed 30 years ago...is unreasonable...a kind of judicial lynching." I'm not sure what Mr. Lang's notion of what consequences a "great creator and artist" should have had, had he not eluded sentencing three decades ago.' And it certainly isn't the fault of the American judicial system that a country such as France would give him sanctuary.Apparently, 100 or so entertainment industry professionals created a petition for Mr. Polanski's release, saying "Filmmakers in France, in Europe, in the United States and around the world are dismayed by this decision." It seems inadmissible to them that an international cultural event, paying homage to one of the greatest contemporary filmmakers, is used by the police to apprehend him.After all, with all the stress of hiding in France to avoid criminal punishment for what is ultimately the drugging and raping of a little girl, he still managed to get the Best Director Oscar in 2003 for "The Pianist." In spite of the clarity of his "wrongdoings," the Zurich festival director is experiencing " great consternation and shock," adding, "We are unable to judge the legal background surrounding the arrest." Let's go through this again:' the man drugged and raped a child. The man drugged and raped a child, and then fled the United States to avoid jail time.' The man drugged and raped a child, and the fled the United States to avoid jail time, and has been for 30 years treated like the patron saint for the arts by a world that is growing more and more morally corrupt by the moment. There is hardly a more sympathetic creature on the face of the earth than Roman Polanski.' He was born in Paris, moved to Poland with his Jewish family when still a toddler (shortly before World War II).' His mother died in a Nazi concentration camp, but Polanski avoided capture and spent his youth in Poland before moving to the United States.' His wife, Sharon Tate, was 8 months' pregnant with their child when she was brutally murdered by the Manson family.' When you look at his ability to make movies, after these grossly horrendous experiences, it seems logical that you should forgive a little drugging and a little raping of a young girl.' NOT.In my opinion, all those who have participated in any way in the making or distributing of Polanski's movies for the last 30 years should be considered accessories after the fact, and part of a conspiracy to protect a child rapist.' Polanski's movies should be boycotted by every decent American, as well as the movies of those who acted in or contributed to any of Polanski's movies in the last 30 years.The man is an animal and a coward.' He's an animal because of what he did to a child; he's a coward because he didn't take his punishment like a man with character.I am thoroughly disgusted by the world's film community for supporting him just because he makes good movies.' I understand that Hitler was a good painter...Maybe we shouldn't have closed in on and bombed his bunker because good painters are a treasure.There's word that both the Polish and French governments are going to try to get Obama to "pardon" him.' I can't believe Obama would agree to such a request while looking into the eyes of his two little girls.' Can you?Amoral is the word of the day - it means no moral compass whatsoever.' And that's what we are seeing around the world in those who have come out to sympathize with and support Roman Polanski, child rapist.' His heinous act and three decades of freedom avoiding an appropriate sentence don't mean anything to amoral people.' It's all about the game of movies.' God bless the Swiss arrest and the intent of the Los Angeles District Attorney's office to bring him back to face justice.'Someone in Hollywood is already, I am sure, scripting up for the movie of Polanski's life, and to be sure, he will be presented to the Vatican for consideration of sainthood, because he is big box office. More >>

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When I was in grade school one year, I got a few "D's" on my report card.' With a pen of contrasting color to the D, I made a line halfway across the letter from left to right, and turned the two D's into weird looking B's.' Much to my astonishment, my father noticed the alteration!' And, boy oh boy, I got punished.The following story ups the ante on my little escapade:' An 11 year old boy from Alabama didn't want to bring home his bad report card either.' So, he said that a man with a pistol snatched him after he left middle school, forced him into a beat-up car, and threatened to kill him.' He then explained that he escaped by jumping out of the car, but that he wasn't able to grab his book bag in which was (no surprise here)....the report card.' The police investigators were a bit suspicious when the boy was able to "escape" with his cumbersome band instrument, but not his soft, smaller book bag.'The boy ran to his grandfather's house, and admitted to lying.' The grandfather called the police to apologize.I mention this story because the issue of grades is important.' Grade inflation definitely exists -- and it's like telling a kid he's special just because he breathes regularly. It builds a false sense of competency and value which condemns a kid to fail in the future and be frustrated that his unconditional perfection hasn't quite panned out.'In addition, there's a lack of willingness to respect children who are able and willing to work hard and attain high grades and become valedictorians.' In fact, the acknowledgment of a valedictorian has been banned in some schools so the feelings of those less accomplished won't be hurt.'Then there are parents who want to see A's, even if their child is capable only of a C+.' I always tell parents that the teacher should let them know at their regular meetings whether or not their child is doing his or her best - that's the best -accomplishment.It's sad when parents don't know what's happening with their children's school work until report card day, and then the yelling starts.' Yes, this Alabama boy did the wrong thing, but he must have been (as I was) VERY scared about the consequences.' He's 11....11!!' If he's that scared,' then let's look at that first, and then help him to do his best.' Punishment for bad grades is not the way to go in this case.'Punishment for editing the D's or for lying to police?' Now that makes more sense. More >>