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A Couple of Smart Decisions

Dr. Laura,

I'm sure one of the smartest decisions I ever made was finding you on the radio back in 1990, but the smartest decision was to save my marriage, which I honestly believe was influenced by you and the things I learned listening to your radio show and reading your books.

Several years after our first and only child was born, I became so angry with my husband, I decided I would replace him. I rekindled an old friendship and before long I was sneaking around behind my husband's back and seeing this "friend". Once my husband found out I was cheating, he filed for a divorce and we separated. We went through a year of going back and forth, sharing our time with our daughter. I convinced myself this new man was going to fix everything, but when he started to parent my then 3-year-old, I began to see the mess I was creating.

I had a revelation one Sunday afternoon as I went to pick up my daughter from my soon to be ex-husband. I asked him whether we could meet the next day with our daughter and attend a church function together. To my surprise, my husband agreed and that night we shared a wonderful evening together with our daughter and I realized what a terrible thing I had done. It took many years to salvage the marriage, and many days when I had to eat humble pie, knowing how much I hurt my husband. We stopped the divorce proceedings and will celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary Sept 23rd.

The smartest decision I made was to reach out to my husband and tell him that I wanted to make things right. I committed to working hard to please him even when I didn't feel like it; I committed to being there through all the trials and tribulations, turning the other cheek instead of having the last word. I grew a lot by learning to handle emotions so they didn't get the better of us. You were my inspiration to save my marriage. Shame was a big part of it and I didn't want to shame myself or my family and I realize now what a great man I married.


Tags: Adultery, Affair, Children, Commitment, Divorce, Marriage, Marriage vows, Parenting, Read On-Air, Regarding Dr. Laura
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