Dear Dr. Laura:
When my daughter was in first grade, I would often take off from work early to pick her up from school. We would then go to the school playground where she would play with a friend while I talked to the friend's mother as we watched our girls on the playground. We quickly became friends and then family friends. As time progressed, I could tell that this woman was interested in more than just friendship. Innocent compliments progressed to inappropriate comments and later blatant advances. Being happily married and fed up with the constant passes and the uncomfortableness of the situation, I happened on a Dr. Laura solution!
The next time she propositioned me, I said "
Fine. Let's meet for lunch this week." When the time arrived, I was already seated at a secluded table in this trendy restaurant. Peeking out from the empty chair was the pink tissue paper from the gift I had bought for my new potential mistress. She arrived late, dressed to the nines, complete with cleavage and a short skirt. She beamed as I pulled her chair out for her. I put her hand in mine, looked into her eyes and whispered to her that I had been struggling with the moral dilemma, but I finally made a decision. She gushed. Then I handed her the gift bag, and she giggled and excitedly pulled back the tissue paper. Her brow wrinkled when she unwrapped the book "
The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands!" I told her she had a wonderful husband and a beautiful family, and she didn't need to throw it away for a few minutes of physical pleasure. I said if she put as much energy into catering to her husband as she had "
courting" me, she would have a happier marriage.
A few weeks later, I received an embarrassed phone call from my never-to-be paramour, thanking me for giving her the book that saved her marriage!
Joe
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