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Letters From Listeners

Acting Like You're in Love
Dr. Laura,

Just like smiling can put one in better mood, I strongly feel that acting in love can keep you in love! Our kids used to roll their eyes because when I would walk behind my husband sitting in his chair, I would drop a kiss on his head or a caress on his neck. I still do that, by the way, but the only ones watching today are the dogs, as the kids are adults and out of the home. (Our dogs do not roll their eyes, by the way!)

This is a second marriage for both of us. Both of us were married to people for whom touch no longer seemed important. If I were too close to my first husband in bed, he would move away and I would apologize. If I patted his bottom too often, I was treating him like a sex object. A bad thing to a man?!! Yikes! I know he loved me very much, but I needed touch, tenderness and intimacy. For my now husband, it was the same thing, as his first wife didn't even like to be hugged.

We're older now, I'm 54 and my husband is 66. I get all the bear hugs I need and lots of spooning as we fall asleep. We make a point of touching each other as often as possible. I can be mad at my husband and see the soft skin behind his ear and feel tenderness rush through me. A soft touch and we're both in a better mood.

People-- fake it 'til you make it!

Tags: Intimacy, Marriage, Second marriage, Sex
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