Dear Dr Laura,
Recently, you took a call from a listener named Joe. He wasn't sure if he should work things out with his wife or to move on with the bimbo. I sat listening to this call wishing my dad had heard this about 17 years ago.
My parents had been married for 30 years. My dad decided to bail with his honey. He even had enough gall to ask my mom to "wait for him" in case things "didn't work out." Thankfully my mom did the right thing and told him to get lost.
I was around 20 when they divorced and I did not see my dad for roughly 7 years. Why? Because the anger and disrespect that I had for him. My mother had her faults, but did not in any way deserve this.
My dad spent a good amount of time blaming me for the fact that my brother and I did not accept his new honey with wide open arms; that I barely called him; that I did not make a fuss and go see him when he came to visit. Although I was well aware of my mother's faults I rallied around her.
I came really close to disowning my father since at one point, he seriously threw away his parent card, but about 7 years ago I decided to let him back in on a extremely superficial basis. Our relationship has gotten better and he has apologized for his past behaviors. I have come to accept that his new honey is actually better suited to him than my mother was.
It was a long emotional battle that I wouldn't wish upon any child (at ANY age) and I would certainly appreciate that any parent deciding to ditch their spouse to continue with an extra-marital relationship consider what they will be doing to their family. They will seriously lose their family in more than one way.
Many thanks!
C.
