My husband left me when my boys were under the age of 3. I did not date for 13 years. Then a former high school "flame" contacted me, and we began dating. He was so good to me and my children, and we talked marriage. I know your stance on marrying with children in the home, but I told myself "this is different - we are in love and THIS relationship is an exception." So, we married, and things changed quickly. There were arguments and disagreements about parenting, discipline, trips with the boys and more.
I want to encourage those who think THEIR love is "different" and "Dr. Laura's stance on marrying when children are involved doesn't apply to me" that they're WRONG. It was a huge mistake for all of us. My boys' dad was not involved in our lives and I thought it would be good for them to have a male role model. I was so wrong. I must live with the fact that I have subjected my sons to such dysfunction, control and stress. I have told them that this is not the way a marriage should be and I hope I have not scarred their perception of it.
I hope my message can help others realize their love is not an exception and that you, Dr. Laura, are 1000% right. If you marry while children are still at home, love can turn to resentment and bitterness and the children are the ones who suffer the most. I usually adhere to your advice, but unfortunately, I did not on this one huge issue. I hope other listeners are smarter than me and don't make this mistake. Children should be the TOP priority.
Remember, all of you can send me "letters" too - by email! Just sign into (or sign up for) the Dr. Laura Family - it's free - and tell us of your experiences.