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Letters From Listeners

Choosing Between Your Children and Second Husband

Hi Dr. Laura,

I wanted to comment on your first caller on October 8, Julie.  (Brief recap of the call: Julie had been married with two children.  She divorced and got married again to a guy with 5 children.  Her ex-husband sought full custody because she was planning to leave the state with her new husband and all the kids.  If she left, the judge would grant her ex-husband's request and she would lose her kids.  If she stayed, she could have 50-50 custody.  Julie was torn since according to her religion, her husband was more important than her children.)

I was her back in the 90's before I found your show.   I am a Christian, and believed as she said that the husband is No.1 before the children, and yes, in the original family, with birth mother and father together, God is first, then the husband/wife relationship, then the kids.

But once you are divorced and remarried, I agree, as you do, that your own children come first.

Unfortunately, the church is silent on this difference, and we are left to make up what we believe, which often leads to what we 'want'.

I have many regrets about bringing a 'husband' into my child's home when he was a teenager, and thinking God wanted me to put my husband before my child. My heart was torn every day.

Please keep 'preaching' this, and the difference between original family and step-family situations.



Tags: Parenting, Read On-Air, Religion, Response to a Call, Second marriage, Values
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