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Email of the Day

Communication Is Key

Dr. Laura:

Whenever my wife would come to me with a problem, whether it was a "fix something around the house," or a personal issue, I went straight into "fix it" mode, because I'm a guy, and that's just what we do - we fix things!

Unbeknownst to me, sometimes when she came to me with a problem, she didn't want me to fix anything - she just wanted me to listen.  However, I couldn't tell the difference between when she wanted me to act or when she just wanted me to listen.  So she suggested that I simply ask her.  

So now when she comes to me with a problem, the first thing I ask is "is this a fix-it problem or a 'listen to' problem?"  And she tells me.  I either help fix it or I give her my undivided attention and listen to her as long as she needs.  

It has helped a lot with these specific communications.  We met when I was already 41 years old, and while old dogs can learn new tricks, sometimes all we need is simple instructions and a reminder!


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Tags: Behavior, Choose Wisely-Treat Kindly, Marriage, Men's Point of View, Stress
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