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05/16/2013
Dear Dr. Laura,
I'm writing to you while enjoying a relaxing moment by myself while my sister-in-law and her husband watch my kids. Specifically, they picked up my kids to take them on a fun outing. This might seem simple, but letting even family take them out is a big step for me---because I am your Que Sera Sera caller from last year, and, so, in enjoying this moment, I'd like to thank you again for your life-changing advice.
I called you about my fears. I can't even say how strong fearful thinking has been for me, how overwhelming my thoughts can be. You told me about gratitude and gave me the mantra of "Que Sera Sera". You also told me I was shut down and ruining my kids (those fans who respect you as much as I do will realize what a holy crap! moment that comment created for me). So... I started make changes. I started seeing a wonderful therapist (prorated, twice a month visits at a local center because that's what I can afford) who supports my marriage, my mothering, and who is teaching me how to better communicate with both my husband and my kids. She's also teaching me how to be more compassionate toward myself as I work through challenging the mental habits that have caused me so much pain for so long. But that's why I'm writing. I'm not wallowing; I'm growing; I'm doing it. I am doing this for my husband, my kids, and myself. I'm not going to pass on my fears to my kids. I'm not going to live that way. It takes daily work to be mindful and to counteract my old mental habits, but I'm doing it.
So, thanks again for the Que Sera Sera foundation. I'm using it today in letting the kids go, and I use it all the time.
Lastly, when my kids got up at the crack of dawn this morning, I got to sit with them and hold them because I stay home with them. "Finding Nemo" was on, so we watched the end of it and I had an aha moment when Dori and Marlon were in the whale. Dori says, "It's time to let go! Everything's gonna be alright!" and Marlon replies, "How do you know? How do you know somethin' bad isn't gonna happen?" To that, Dori says, "I don't".
Well, I feel that way now. Letting go of those habits of fearful obsessing by repeatedly re-centering myself and not believing it has created ripples of better living in every area of my life.
I let go by changing now; I let go by being grateful now.
Que Sera Sera,
Erin
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