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Letters From Listeners

Divorce: Amputation and Declaration of War

Dear Dr. Laura,

I did not choose wisely. It was a long distance engagement where I saw him once or twice a month until our wedding day. Had we been in the same town, dating, planning our wedding and our marriage I would have seen the red flags that began to appear on our honeymoon and continued throughout the marriage. In the 60's if you "made your bed, you were supposed to lie in it." He was not a "bad" person, but was very critical of me (told me he would never allow himself to be "c### whipped" which as a naive star-crossed 24-year-old I did not even know what it meant), and never wanted to do anything with me. After 29 years, when our children were raised, educated, on their own and dating the people they eventually married, I left. He was okay with the divorce but fought the alimony and splitting of the assets. I found out when a woman files for divorce the man sees it as a "declaration of war" and calls in the army to help fight. It has been eighteen years now, living alone, free of horrible nightmares, severe headaches, skin rashes, and stress. I would like to have a man in my life but dating after age 50 is a new set of circumstances (most want to shack-up and there are plenty of desperate women who will) but the character is the same. Now I am off topic so I will close by saying that "I would rather be alone than wish I were."

I began listening to you when I lived in Southern California. I moved to South Dakota 18 years ago and gave myself an XM radio for my birthday so I could continue listening to you. I love your show and the advice you give. It is right on the mark. May good health continue to be yours.

Thank You,

L. (I am now 71 and life is great)

Tags: Divorce, Marriage
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