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Letters From Listeners

Facing and Being the Other Woman

I have faced the "other" woman. I have been the "other" woman. Devastating emotional turmoil in both situations.

 My husband many years ago had many affairs. I found out about a few.  (Aside: he confessed many more, years later after we were divorced, when he needed to ask for forgiveness in one of those 12-step type programs. I personally don't believe in sexual addictions, but that's another topic for another day.)

After we divorced and I had 2 little children to raise, I decided not to date until they were grown. Well, I made another poor decision and had an affair with a married man for many years. My children never met him as I saw him when they were with their father. Why did I do this? At first I thought I was "in love" and his wife just didn't understand him. I later found he had multiple affairs during their marriage, but she did not believe in divorce and he didn't really want a divorce. 

Fast forward years later - I'm still on my own and my children are grown. I have 6 grandchildren. My ex-husband and I are social for family gatherings. After many years, I have become social/family friends with his wife the last other woman, since the affair was not her fault. It was a result of him not really being ready for marriage and me not being a dutiful wife/girlfriend. I'd like to say I was, but we were too immature to make it work and respect one another. 

Now in my 50's, I'm content with life.  Sure I get lonely sometimes, but I truly prefer to make my own decisions and live with my work, cat and dogs, and enjoy my beautiful grandbabies. I am also involved at church now and have found peace within my soul. I love music, laughter and I always take time to dance -- if only in my own home!

Thank you for your time today - Wishing you kindness and joy in life. 



Tags: Adultery, Attitude, Behavior, Divorce, Personal Responsibility, Values
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