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Honor Her Memory
04/02/2013

[Makes growling noise (picture of grizzly bear in background) then looks back at picture and motions.]  Shh!  I'm working!

I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger.  Welcome to our YouTube channel, where I get to answer your questions.  This one is from Desiree:

"I lost my daughter in 2005 at the age of 22 [sighs] after she had a four year battle with cancer. I don't live, I just survive.

My health took a huge hit from the stress of her illness and death. I was a stay-at-home mom and home schooled her from birth through high school. She was not only my daughter; she was my best friend. My childhood and marriage were never good.

I have been separated since shortly after my daughter died and my divorce will soon be final. I have a full-time job but am pretty non-productive beyond that.

How do I move on with life like my daughter would have wanted me to do?"

Well you...first of all, I'm a mother...I don't know that my reaction would be much different.  But I know that I'd get to a point where if my child lost his life and he clung to life and loved life and I'm wasting the thing that he lost, that would make me feel terrible.  You can't be wasting the very thing she lost - that's insulting. 

What you've got to do is take the life she lost and do something with it in her memory.  And that doesn't necessarily just mean opening up a charity in her memory...or you could do that.  A lot of parents do that and it really helps them because they're helping other people in their child's name.  But it also means that having a quality of life that honors her memory. 

What you're doing now [sniffles] does not honor her memory and you owe her that.  So decide that happiness, taking on challenges, having a good time is honoring the thing she lost - life.  Honor her.

I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger.

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Tags: Adult Child-Parent, Cancer, Character-Courage-Conscience, Character/Courage/Conscience, Divorce, Family/Relationships - Adult Child/Parent, Grief, Health, Honor, Memories, Mental Health, Parenting
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