Dear Dr. Laura,
My husband and I are high school sweethearts and this past January, we celebrated 20 years as each other's boyfriend/girlfriend. This past June we celebrated 11 years of being husband and wife.
About 5 years ago I happened to see a text on my husband's phone as he had left it out while he was in the shower. To my shock it was from another woman and it was NOT simply being friendly. I confronted him about it and after a brief discussion asked him to leave our home for the night. He obliged and I cried. The next morning, after dropping our children at vacation bible school, he came home and we talked and talked and talked. Long story short, the outcome of that discussion was either we were going to counseling to try and fix it, or go to attorneys to end it. As you can tell he chose his family, and I was grateful.
The most important thing I learned as we worked through the affair and the repairing of our marriage is that I was also at fault. My husband took full responsibility for his actions, but that other person would not have been attractive to my husband if I was being sweet, loving, and the wife/girlfriend he needed instead of the saggy/naggy mommy/housekeeper, chief complainer every time he walked through the door. I am proud to say I am my husband's girlfriend again and have been every day since that awful text message was found. The reward is at least twice a day he is texting ME little love notes and sometimes just a little something to get the engine primed for later.
There is Facebook post from a man married for 50+ years. When a young man asked him how he and his wife made it that far his answer was simple, "We believe in fixing things that may be broken instead of just tossing them out!"
Thank you for all you do and for being my daily reminder to be my husband's girlfriend!
Maria
