When I first became engaged to my husband, my boss was adamant that we "just be engaged" for a few years. She told me it'd be better if we "shacked up" and didn't do anything as drastic as committing to marriage. "If you learn anything from me while working here," she said, "do not get married."
I was taken aback. Almost all the women in the office were on their second or third marriages, and their favorite pastime was husband bashing. Luckily, having been raised by loving parents who took great pains to instill values and the sacredness of marriage, I knew this was a world I didn’t want to be part of.
Much to the chagrin of my boss, my husband and I married without waiting years or shacking up. Expecting our first child this June, I was recently in "Hormone Land" with doubts about my ability to be a good mother, staying home full-time (a decision we had agreed upon before marrying), and finding our footing as parents.
As I voiced my concerns to my patient husband, he simply took me in his arms and said, "Do you know what this kid is thinking? He's thinking, 'I've hit the jackpot! I'm going to have a mom and a dad who have an intact home, who love and are committed to one another, and who are actually excited to start a family with me.' That's what he's thinking. How many other kids can say that?"
As I listened to his wisdom, it dawned on me how correct he was. I've listened to you for many years, Your voice of reason, and those of my parents, led me to wisely choosing a man with whom to raise a family.
It really doesn't matter if we don't have a foothold on parenting yet. What does matter is that the pillars and determination for a strong family unit are in place. The rest will follow with dedication, hard work, and sloughing off the vain words of the world.
Thank you, thank you.