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Email of the Day

I Finally Understand

Dear Dr. Laura:

I've only been listening to you a few months, but I want to thank you for your advice and share the impact it has had on me and my marriage.  I'm a 30-year-old millennial who grew up in a household where my mom worked a stressful job to support her five children and a husband who stopped working for ten years.  She came home every day to cook a full meal and clean house.  I knew early on that my mother and father did not contribute equally to the household, and I did not want to end up in a similar situation.  Unfortunately, the bad habits were already ingrained in me, and I dated several trashy men before declaring my feminine independence.  I obtained several degrees and started a Ph.D. program.  By my mid-20s the partying grew old and I was lonely.  

Through a mutual friend I met my husband.  He is loving, hard-working, honest and will do anything for me.  But something bothered me!  He wanted to do everything for me!  Instead I told him that I was a strong, independent woman and could do these things for myself!  Then we started to fight, and I soon realized that was because of my insecurity in this relationship.  After our last argument, I sat down to talk with him honestly.  He told me that since I did so much, he wanted to do what he could for me, and he liked to cook, so he made most of the meals.  I'm finally understanding the roles of husband and wife.  Instead of demanding his attention every weekend, I let him sleep in when he's tired while I make him breakfast and clean up the house.  He watches football when his favorite team is on and I do his laundry.  I respect him because I love him, and he shows me nothing but respect and love in return.  And all the forward movement in our marriage is taking place because I'm learning so much from listening to you.  Thank you for the guidance I didn't get from my own family.



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Tags: Behavior, Marriage, Personal Responsibility, Values, Women's Point of View
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