I wish to say you and your callers were the catalyst for saving my marriage. Just one short week ago, my husband was having an affair. It was my own fault and this is how I found out…
I was listening to your podcasts and heard a handful of calls involving wives whose husbands had been cheating. As I carefully listened to the pain in the voices of these women and your realistic advice, I pondered my own selfishness. I decided at that moment to change.
My husband had been working outdoors all day and I thought it would be nice to make him lunch. So, I put together a homemade meal and carried it to him with fresh limeade. I proceeded to tell him how much I love him, and his response was, "Really? Then show me."
That hit me like a brick. I began to get a deep sense that there was possibly another woman in the picture. I investigated and promptly found a phone number of another woman. We had a long, sleepless night full of arguing and tears because he admitted fully to his short-lived relationship with this woman which would have continued had I not decided to "wake up."
He told me they had had sex one time and though he said he felt bad about it even in the moment, he said it was better than what he was getting at home! I have never felt so much pain in my life, but that reality was the jolt I needed to humble myself and get honest.
As a result, this week with my husband has been the best ever in our 17 year marriage. He promptly ended his affair and we have enjoyed every moment together. I made the conscious choice to become his girlfriend. I re-read your book and it came as no surprise that I have been an example of everything NOT to do. A good man really is a simple man, and my husband is a good man. He takes care of me and our two children and he works his tail off every day. He truly does deserve the best I can give to him.
As for me, making the decision to change has taken me to a level of happiness that I
haven't felt in years, despite the awful recent event. I have learned from my mistakes, and am seeing just how freeing it is to humble thyself. Tearing that wall down has allowed me to love my man and to enjoy treating him as my hero. Our relationship in the bedroom has been better than when we first married. Our outlook on our future life together is one that is happy and optimistic.
What a difference it makes in your marriage to do as you always say, "Choose wisely and treat kindly." Thanks for your fantastic advice and for making it possible to write this to you.