Earlier this year, I ended a relationship that looked fabulous on paper, but, was a disaster. I am in my 50s and divorced for several years. I met a seemingly great guy at a local community event - movie star looks, great job, beautiful home, and many years divorced with two adult sons in their twenties. I was smitten. After several coffee and lunch dates, he invited me to his house for dinner. His 21-year-old son answered the door and was not very welcoming to me. I blew that off.
My date appeared and was very formal - not even a hug to welcome me. That's when I found out the son lives with him. When dinner was ready, my date plated everything and then proceeded to cut up his son's food as if he were a toddler! THAT was a showstopper. The kid didn't even thank his dad, nor did he engage with me during dinner. The son was on his cell phone the entire time, which apparently, my date didn't mind. I had one more date after that. That's when I found out he pays for his son's car, car insurance and cell phone. He even did his son's college homework for him, because he didn't want to see him fail! He admitted that his former wife felt like she was invisible. Wow. So did I. That was the end. I knew he would not change.
At first, I thought something was wrong with me, but after listening to you, I knew this guy was a loser. His adult sons would always be first, and a life with him would be far too high a price to pay. I would rather BE alone than WISH I were. As the Eagles said, "every form of refuge has a price."