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Letters From Listeners

Infidelity and HIV

Because of our two minor daughters, I stayed in a marriage with a man who cheated. He was a great provider and I wanted our daughters to be in an intact home. I planned to divorce him after they were up and out of the house. 

At the age of 56, he became sick and saw our family doctor 15 times in 18 months. After being admitted to the hospital for the third time with persisted pneumocystis pneumonia, he was finally diagnosed with full-blown AIDS. When the infectious specialist reviewed his labs and other health info, he stated my husband was probably HIV positive for at least 5 years to possibly 10 years. He even had Kaposi's Sarcoma which our physician diagnosed as a medication side effect!!!!! He died 4 weeks after being diagnosed. 

My reason for writing you is because I stayed in the marriage thinking I was doing the right thing for my children.  I am a registered nurse never thought an STD let alone HIV would ever "really" happen to us. How wrong was I!!!!!! Through the grace of God, I tested negative for HIV.  I understand about 15% of couples where one partner is positive, the other will not contract it. I know some of your callers indicate they think their spouse is cheating, but they remain in the marriage.  I just want to spread the message that if you think your spouse is cheating, please practice safe sex. My husband was a straight, CHP officer, church going man, great provider, loved by his friends and family - and a good liar!!!! Many recent medical journals have articles about how HIV is being overlooked in people in the 50-60 age group. They are being misdiagnosed because they don't fall into the stereotype. I hope to add to the HIV awareness and help women protect themselves!!!!! Husbands need to hear my message, too, because they could infect their wives because of their selfish behavior. 

Thank you for letting me share my story! I thank God I am negativeb but my story could have had a very different ending. 


Tags: Adultery, Attitude, Behavior, Health, Marriage, Stress
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