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Letters From Listeners

Making Life Easier for My Wife

Dr. Laura,

I just wanted to take a minute to answer your question about what I did for my wife when we were expecting our first and now what I am doing as we expect number two!

I HATE feet. They are smelly and sweaty and disgusting but my wife LOVES to have her feet massaged, so every day after I would come home from work, I would sit on the couch as she laid on the other end putting her feet in my lap. I would watch some of my favorite shows as I massaged her feet between various calls for mango with chile pepper and running down to get a "Super Nachos" from her favorite nacho joint. I would attend as many of the prenatal appointments as was possible (I got to all but two of them!) and would ask the doctor questions myself about what was happening and what to expect. I also took an interest in what she was learning about what was going on with my little girl as she developed in the womb. This gave my wife and I something to talk about and helped me feel more involved in the pregnancy. She enjoyed this too because she could share her fears with me in a way I could understand. We were also able to share some good laughs as we both huddled around her belly playing Mozart and Led Zeppelin (ya know, the classics) to the baby. Just knowing I was there for her not only physically, financially, and spiritually but taking an active role in learning what was happening inside her really helped our marriage, friendship and understanding during the first pregnancy. I did everything I could so she could stay home in the final months and relax. She is still a stay-at-home Mom and we couldn't be happier about how my beautiful girl is doing.

During this pregnancy, my wife is still at home but with the added challenge of having a one and half year old running around asking to play "Ring around t he Rosie" every 5 seconds. I still try to make it to all of the appointments I can and massage her aching feet. On the weekends, I let her sleep as much as she wants while my daughter and I get some much needed daddy-daughter play time. We go to the store and do some grocery shopping or get the tires rotated or even go down to the ocean to watch the waves. Momma gives me a call when she gets up and then we head home to get Mom so we can all have a relaxing lunch. I also try to do the cooking on the weekends so my wife can enjoy "hanging out" again. Cooking is kinda fun because my daughter will sit on my shoulders and help me get things out of the cupboards and hold spatula's for me. She is handy like that!

Well, that kind of sums it up Dr. Laura. I have to thank you as well for helping inspire us to be the best kind of logical people we can be. I heard a quote once, I don't remember where, that said, "Always be yourself, but always be your better self!" I think that is good advice and something we try to do. Thanks for everything!


Tags: Marriage, Parenting
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