I grew up in a house where my father verbally, emotionally, and physically abused me and my two sisters (I thank God there was no sexual abuse to any of us). His mood swings were sporadic and we were always walking on eggshells.
As a child I had always thought of my Mom as an innocent victim, but after a comment from my sister and listening to you over the years, I came to realize my Mom is just as damaged as he is and she is just as guilty for the abuse because she CHOSE to stand by and do nothing (they've been married 45yrs now). Like you've said on your show, "water seeks its own level." So now I have a whole new perspective. I don't feel sorry for her and how he treats her and when she complains about him and his usual antics, I just look at her and smile and say, "You chose him, Mom" and then either change the subject or walk out of the room.
To all the young adults out there: Please choose wisely! Your future children are depending on you.