I heard you say once that sometimes women choose bad guys because they could not fix their parents, so they choose a guy who they can try to fix. That was an "aha" moment for me. I used to do anything for male attention. But then I decided to look for someone who would treat me kindly and I found him!
At first, I thought he liked me too much. I didn't have to work hard at all for him. He just loved me for me. I knew he was a good man. After we got married, I couldn't believe how he was still kind to me - the honeymoon wasn't over! Even though he was kind, he did put his foot down occasionally to stand for his values. It wasn't how my parents did thing, but it helped me respect him. I couldn't manipulate him or walk all over him like I had done in my past.
We've been married ten years and have six kids. We know it's our job to teach them about being kind. I've found great joy in following your advice.