Ten years ago, when my children were four and seven, my husband left for work and was killed in a car accident. It changed my world as I knew it. I don't remember much from that day, but I do remember sitting at the family dining room table with friends surrounding me and saying out loud, "My children's lives will not be ruined by this!" I dug my heels in, my grief was immense, and I was scared to death, but I got out of bed every day and walked my children into school with my head held high.
I was lucky those first couple of years. Between life insurance and social security for my children, I was able to stay at home. Then I worked part time while my kids were in school.
I tuned into your show one day and I heard you say that after a divorce or death, a parent should raise their children and not involve a boyfriend or girlfriend until the kids are no longer minors and out of the house. You reaffirmed that what I had been doing was right.
It has been ten years and my kids and I are a good solid family of three. They have not had to grow up and share me with anyone, and they knew if they had something going on, I was going to be there. I think a lot of people in my town wonder why I have not dated. I've heard people say, "Oh she just doesn't think she can replace her husband because he was such a good man." This couldn't be further from the truth. My children mean the world to me, and I look forward with some sadness, but much happiness that they will soon be living a good, responsible, moral adult life because I have given them a solid base.
As for me -- I am a strong, capable, loving woman. I am in a good place and it will help me choose a good man. I will never, ever regret the sacrifices I have made. So many women think they need to have a man to make them feel good, but nothing feels better than making good choices for the sake of your children and watching them flourish because of it!