At around the 14th year of my marriage I realized my husband had become dependant on alcohol for relaxation. He was very tense as the only bread winner for our family and I was not paying enough attention to him while staying home with our three young children.
In my effort to help him see my dedication to our putting things right and him first, I drastically cut my visits with my parents and siblings. To me, it was closing ranks and putting what goes on in my house first. I realized I was part of the reason he was drinking. Only later did I read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" and discovered I had changed and started to do most of what you tell women they need to do for their man. Then we both changed.
We have been married 25 years now. He is completely sober and has been for 10 years. My family was upset with me for my withdrawal for a while, but it was what I needed to do for us and for our kids. I would do it all over again.