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Putting the Cart Before the Horse

Dr. Laura,

I have been married almost thirty years. My husband never proposed to me… officially.  Instead, I got a call from his mom with her saying, "Congratulations, I hear you're getting married." That should have been the final red flag to getting married. Instead, you guessed it; I was pregnant.

The best thing that got our marriage off to a good start was my husband joined the military and they put 1500 miles between us and all relatives. Sure, I visited them often, but the distance forced us to rely on each other.

Overall, it has been a good marriage with all four kids being productive adults. However, the one essential ingredient that is still lacking is my husband's respect for me, his wife and eternal bride. See, when a man has to get married because his wife is pregnant, respect is lost. I have talked to other women in the same situation and they noticed it, too.

This is something we work on as we grow older. It should have been part of the foundation, but like baking a cake, it's not quite the same when you add the egg after the cake has been put in the oven.

Thank you.

Tags: Behavior, Marriage, Read On-Air, Respect, Values
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