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Email of the Day

Rearranging My Priorities

Dear Dr. Laura:

When my marriage was young, and my babies were younger, I had mommy trouble.  My brother and dad both died a year apart due to natural causes, which set my mother back 75 years.  She became my child.  She guilted me into putting her above my family and above my emotional sanity.  She was rude to me and to my husband.  I became a cranky mother and wife.  I was miserable.

I remember hearing a call from a woman with a similar issue as mine.  You told her that because someone gave birth to us doesn't mean they own us or have the right to destroy our lives.  That wasn't the definition of honoring one's parents.  

I took it all in, read "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands," and changed my life.  I still called my mother once a week, but I didn't allow her in our home again.  My husband became my priority and my children had their mother back.  I realized that while I'd love to help my mother, I had kids to raise, and they wouldn't survive with me as a cranky, drained mother.  I also realized that someday my kids would leave and my mother would pass away, leaving me with my husband for the rest of my life.  I thought then and there that I better love him and take proper care of him.

I'm happy to say we have been married for almost 22 years, and we have five happy children.  Thanks for all the years of guidance and advice.


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Tags: Behavior, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships, Relatives, Values
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