I am on my second marriage. I have a 13-year-old with my first husband and an 8-year-old with my second. All the parties get along. My current husband treats my 13-year-old as his own. It all sounds dreamy, and many of my single or divorced friends think that my situation is just great. Well, it is NOT.
I have to constantly divide time up with two families and shuttle my oldest back and forth between us and her dad. I'm often the only parent in our two-parent household, because while my current husband is amazing, he is not her father and defers to me. It's very hard work. Only after listening to you and having many heated arguments and heartache, I told him that if I could do it over, I would not have remarried and put her through having a stepfather and stepfamily. My husband's family don't make us feel welcome. Luckily, my husband understands that if we could do it over, we would not have married with children involved. We know now that kids really don't need the upheaval and turmoil of a new family when they don't have a say-so. Yet, we have an 8-year-old together, so breaking up a family twice is not something I entertain or will do.
So, I want to say to your listeners that remarrying when kids are so young is NOT the answer. Remember this is coming from someone who likely has one of the better scenarios with her second marriage. Don't remarry until your kids are up and out of the house. Don't put that burden on your children. The right person will wait for you. The wrong one will not, and that's okay. Being alone is not the end of the world.
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