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Letters From Listeners

Should I Get Upset My Wife Sees Rich, Romantic, Handsome Men on TV?
01/23/2015



Dear Dr. Laura, 

I appreciate how you handle calls from wives concerned their husbands are viewing porn. And please note, this letter is not to defend porn. 

Many women fail to realize men and women literally think differently. Because SHE doesn't like or isn't interested in it, HE isn't supposed enjoy it. Some women object because they think they're supposed to object and many of those can't give a rational answer as to why. Dr. Laura, you're on-target when you say some women get upset because the women in such media often look hotter or will do things the wife won't. But do their husbands object to them reading romance novels, watching romantic comedies/action-adventure/fantasy movies with perfectly romantic, daring, chiseled hunks their husbands could never rival? Do their husbands forbid them from watching media in which the husbands are bringing home bigger paychecks? 

I'm an evangelical Christian and in Christian media and sermons, I hear way more dire warnings about the evils and destructive nature of porn than I hear reminders about the sins of gossip, greed, and gluttony combined. 

People have lost perspective on this issue. Some say viewing porn is the same thing as having an affair. Granted viewing porn is wrong, but saying that it's as bad as an affair is ridiculous. Pixels don't have abortions, give birth to children who will be entitled to the marriage's income, give a husband a disease he can transmit to his wife, don't show up at your home or workplace to assault you, etc. Even if he gets all the sex he wants and is married to the hottest woman on the planet, a husband may still, from time to time, take a look at nudes or porn, because that is male nature. It may be a fallen nature, as I believe, but it is normal. When I see a woman disagreeing with that and saying her husband doesn't even look at other women, I know he's either hiding it from her, or he's overcome, at great effort, his normal biology, and she doesn't even appreciate his accomplishment for what it is. Thanks for bringing perspective. 

Kenneth 



Tags: Attitude, Choose Wisely-Treat Kindly, Marriage, Men's Point of View, Religion, Sex
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