Hi, Dr. Laura Schlessinger here and this is our YouTube channel, where I get to answer your questions. This one's from Harold:
"I am in need of some direction. Recently I had serious surgery. Friends jumped as soon as they heard of this and wanted to come over to visit and bring me dinner. But as soon as they got through the door, they started right in on their OWN surgeries from 20 years ago! [I know, it's like when you get pregnant and you get with a group of women and everybody's talking about their pregnancy problems. It scares you, doesn't it?]
I no longer want anyone to come visit because I can't stand to hear about more health problems! Any suggestions on how I can keep the door open for company, but shut the door on the depressing stories they feel compelled to share with me?"
I remember when I was about 6 months pregnant and I'm getting a pedicure just to make myself feel a little better (because you start feeling like a walrus), and the lady doing the foot massage and whose putting on the polish and everything starts talking about the terrible things that happened during her pregnancy and I just said [throws hands and arms up in crossing motion], "Stop. I want to only have positive thoughts." And this is what you need to do. "I love you for coming over. Thank you so much for bringing food, but stop. I don't want to have any more negative thoughts. [Holds hands in front of chest with palms facing out.] I'm already dealing with the stress of this and trying to recover and I want to stay positive and optimistic. And I know you're not trying to upset me, but it does, so I just want to hear positive, pleasant things (so let's not talk about politics either).
But that's all you have to do with your hands [makes crossing motion into rainbow motion with both hands], "Stop. I really don't want to hear negative things while I'm trying to recover. I know you're just trying to share with me and compare with me, and make me feel a little bit better because of what you went through, but all it does is make me feel a little down so [makes crossing motion with both arms and hands and moves them outward] let's just stick to the positive. Okay?"
Until our next time, when you will [raises hands from resting on lap, turning palms up during rounding motion and laughs] come back to our YouTube channel.