I never realized how much of a whiner I was until just last night. I was at a job, unhappy with the circumstances I found myself in, and made my displeasure known. To my immense surprise, a coworker blew up at me.
Looking back on it tonight, more than 24 hours later, I understand why. I have been living my life as if I have no control over my emotions, my body language, and the things that go on in my life. I have been endlessly frustrating the people around me - and pushing away the very people I wanted to keep close.
It's safe to say this attitude has been bad for me. In fact, a couple years ago I found myself admitted to the local psych ward because of suicidal thoughts. I don't understand why it took a co-worker blowing up at me for me to understand I needed to change but it did.
I didn't know anything about you before today - in fact, when I set foot outside my front door, I hadn't even intended to go book shopping! I left the house to go shopping for something I needed for daily living.
At the point I left work last night, I was wallowing in misery. I hated my job. I hated myself. I hated the person I was. I spent most of today with a wallower's headache: it was well after 5pm when I even bothered dressing to go out to get what I needed.
I knew I needed to change. I wanted to change. I just didn't know how, and was convinced it wouldn't matter if I did anyway. I had prayed last night to God for a way to help me change myself for the better, for a way to become a better person.
When I went shopping today, I passed by a book shop. Your book wasn't in the window, it was another book that lured me inside, but it was your book, “Stop Whining – Start Living” I left with. I'm writing this email after having finished it.
My eyes have been opened. I know now God put your book in my path, an answer to my prayers.
I know the road I'll be walking now won't be easy, but it'll be better than the self-destructive, lonely, and suicidal road I've been on the last several years.
Twenty-three isn't too late to turn things around, so that's what I'm going to start doing. It's time to take control of and responsibility for my life.
Thank you, Dr. Laura. You, and your book, are a God sent gift.