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Supporting His Choice

Several months ago, I called your show. My husband of 18 years had been battling bladder cancer for the past three years, enduring 9 rounds of targeted chemo along with almost as many surgeries, and the doctors were recommending the complete removal of his urinary tract including both kidneys. He was losing hope and did not want the surgery and the change in his active life it would bring. You asked me if I thought his position was reasonable. I answered yes.  I took your advice and simply told him I would support whatever decision and course of action he decided on, and only asked he carefully consider and weigh the fact we had a young daughter who needs her dad. Then I hugged him and told him I love and admire him more than anything.

In mid-November he decided to have a serious, but less life-changing surgery, with the hope of stopping the spread of his disease. We were scared sick before the surgery, as CT scans looked like the cancer was moving quickly on the right side of his urinary tract. The doctor was confident, but pretty grey when she talked with me before surgery. Seven hours later, she was walking on air. While she did remove the kidney and ureter, his whole urinary tract looked amazingly good. The one bad spot was in the right ureter and it had been removed. She said to cross our fingers, pray and wait for pathology. We did wait…Three long days… and when it returned, NO CANCER!!!

She said she couldn't be sure if it had been the chemo drug finally working, or the many natural supplements he took, super healthful diet, prayer or a combination of all four, but she had high hopes his cancer was gone and that we may be looking at him being cured. Long story short...we don't know if this is a permanent cure or just a rest, but it's given our family such a boost. We had the happiest Christmas ever and we appreciate every day we have with good health and each other.

The choice I made to support my husband's choices and tell him how much I love and admire him seemed to free him so much. His attitude is better and I know whatever we have to face going forward, we'll be stronger because of this loving, united approach. We've got our lives back, at least for now, and it seems fuller and more precious than ever. Thank you so much for calming me and helping me to be a better support for my husband. He deserves my best.


Tags: Cancer, Health, Parenting, Read On-Air, Response To A Call
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